Flying Plates Ahead

I’m going through something. I’m angry at the entire world and I don’t know why. Nearly everything and (everyone) annoys the shit out of me. Kitty cats, politics, little babies, etc, etc. My shit list has grown so much it’s starting to resemble a backed up toilet. Don’t even get me started on how Nicole won America’s Next Top Model.

I’ve been trying to find the source of this anger and I’ve come up with nothing. It’s just a genuine bitch streak that I’m running through and I’m looking for any reason to pick a fight with anyone. I feel like I just want to pick-up and leave for some foreign country where no one knows me. Just so I can get a moment alone to think about no one else but myself. I want to find a place where all my words and actions affect only myself and no one else. How fucking selfish is that?

I really should clarify that I’m not cussing people out left and right or throwing plates at walls with all the fury of a thousand King Kongs. Please don’t call me Mariah Carey. My anger is more like a quiet emotion; one that I keep bottled up only to take it out on unhealthy practices like drinking and gorging on everything that fits in my mouth. Not good – for my karma, liver or digestive system. All this negativity is fostering a negative attitude toward everything. I feel ugly, I feel terrible, and I feel like I wouldn’t like me if I met me. (I still can’t believe they played a Tegan and Sara song on Grey’s Anatomy).

I started yoga – not only to get my weight under control but to try and deal with my anger issues. I don’t know if it’s started working, but I am a little more optimistic when I start my day and I’ve only called a person or two an idiot throughout the rest of it. (I no longer proclaim that I’m surrounded by idiots). Yoga has been great so far. However, a complaint I have is that the room smells like old feet and cum rags. (I practice Bikram Yoga which is performed in a 90 degree heated room). The only other complaint is that there aren’t any hot guys that do yoga. At least none of the classes I’ve been to. (I’m hoping that Mondays are just a fluke night at my studio).

So I hope that yoga works. If anything I’ll be able to twist myself into all types of contortionist positions. (Google the word yoga to see what I’m talking about). I’d like to go into the new year a little less anal, a lot less angry and irritable and with a huge smile on my face. Hopefully if I’m good until then I’ll have a great make out session with someone after the countdown.